1. Abstract Love vs True Love

Understand the abstract love you feel for the child before they move in is not true love. The ideas and dreams in your mind are not reality. This child has already developed a personality, a belief system, and a sense of self. Love at first sight is a beautiful ideology, but you will have to fall in love with who that child actually is, which takes time. This does not make you unfit or a bad parent, this makes you human. The love will come and when it does, it is worth the wait.

2. Regression

Prepare for a regression. While adoption may be fulfilling your hopes and dreams, for them, the transition may be traumatic. Even if they have been waiting to be adopted, it is a huge adjustment. There is often a “honeymoon” phase where children will be as perfect as possible to make you happy because they are terrified of rejection. As they begin to care about you and tentatively start to trust, the behaviors will escalate, and they will test your boundaries and limits. The 12-year-old will act six and your seven-year-old may well wet the bed and refuse to go to sleep. The “parentified” child will challenge you for control, questioning every single thing. Love is scary for them; what if you don’t love them back? Kids tend to blame themselves and fear they are unlovable. Then, they will set out to verify it. It’s your job to prove them wrong, and it won’t be an easy task.

3. Their Past

Accept their past. These kiddos didn’t come out of nowhere and need to know you love them for who they are. This means you accept the onslaught of stories about their “real” mom and dad, their grandparents, siblings, cousins, etc. They had a life before you that should not be diminished or buried. Creating a family with older children means embracing all of them, not just the parts that fit into your present picture. Every time I open a soda, I am regaled with the tale of how their “real mom” opened a soda once and it sprayed everywhere. Don’t personalize this. They love and miss their biological family which is normal; it does not mean they don’t love you. Have faith there is enough love for everyone. Consider including some of their traditions into your family. I wouldn’t recommend spilling your soda every day, but a little macaroni and cheese at Thanksgiving won’t kill you.

4. PTSD

5. Security and Stability

It’s important to create a sense of security and stability for older children, which unfortunately means schedules and rules. They will, of course, hate this, but it is essential, especially in the beginning. Make sure the rules and consequences are clear and don’t assume they know the basics. They may need to learn how to bathe correctly, hang up clothes, clear the table, or even make a bed. Manners are a subjective thing and will need to be made clear; mine didn’t know that spitting in the house is not appropriate. Don’t hesitate to have a lot of boundaries. It may seem overwhelming at first, but they will adapt and appreciate the safety they feel, even if they don’t verbalize it.

The benefits of adopting an older child are vast. The gratification and pride felt as they acclimate to their new world and begin to see life’s possibilities, overshadows any doubts once fostered. The bond with your child is made stronger from the tribulations, the love fiercer because of the battle that was waged. I know there is fear, but the rewards are so great. Fight for that child, believe in that child, and ultimately you will both win.

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Social Media

It has made adoption fun, interesting, popular, attainable, and almost easy. It has opened up a world of marketing that was never possible before. My husband and I found our consultant agency through Facebook and many the other agencies we contacted before them. Facebook and Instagram bring awareness to adoption and foster care as no other avenue has in 20 years. It brings people together who are struggling with the same types of issues concerning adoption. Whether you are in the paperwork/pregnancy phase or the trauma/behavior phase, there is a group of people out there who share the same feelings. And let’s not forget that you can have an online profile to share on your social media when you’re in the hoping-to-adopt phase.

Fundraising

The Internet and social media make it so easy to fundraise for an adoption. I see T-shirts on my Facebook newsfeed on a daily basis. “Buy my T-shirt and fund my adoption.” T-shirts, wall art, garage sales, photo sessions, car washes, dinners, and, so many more unique ideas are shared through the internet every day. There is also an increased awareness of and access to grants and loan options online. So many companies and nonprofits are offering funds to adoptive families that apply. It is an incredible help to families that long to adopt, but money is hindering them from that dream. 

Acceptance

I believe that the entire conversation in regard to adoption has grown increasingly better in the past 20 years since the topic hit the web. I think that people are more willing to be open and discuss the real issues that surround adoption. I also think that where some things in the past had been hidden, we are now wanting to engage in hard conversations. Transracial families, older child adoption, special needs adoption, and adoptions after a broken adoption are in an age of more and more acceptance. People are more willing to help, willing to listen, and willing to discuss all that entails adoption.

Other Resources

There are so many blogs, so many well-written books by experienced moms and dads, and so many support groups that offer a listening ear to families in the trenches. It is such a sweet relief to listen to, read about, or hear from another family who knows exactly how you are feeling. Some of my favorites are: 

• The Connected Child by Karen Purvis
• Millions of Miles
• Not Just Hair: The intersection of Hair/Skincare and Transracial Adoption Facebook page

Twenty years. That’s a long time. It is just long enough to create a whirlwind of information and support for families going through one of the greatest events of their lives.

The post Adoption Is Different Than It Was 20 Years Ago appeared first on Adoption Week Online Magazine | News, Articles, Awareness.

1. Invite the curious friend to coffee and share your experiences. Have you ever had someone you don’t know you so well or someone you haven’t seen in a while, bump into you in the grocery store and start asking 3000 questions about the adoption of your newest child? Well, the grocery store isn’t a great place to have an in-depth conversation, but if the person is genuinely curious (not in a rubbernecking, train wreck kind of way, you can blow those people off no problem) maybe a coffee date for a later time could be a good compromise. Then you have time to prepare for the questions, get out of your house for a little bit of time, and build on a friendship.
2. Adoption websites are a great place to start if you don’t personally have a lot of time to chat. Adoption.com is a great resource to point curious folks to and there are articles from everyone’s perspective from birth family to adopted child. There are hundreds of awesome websites about how to adopt, perhaps you have your own favorite. If you don’t have a lot of time to have a conversation (and who really does these days while we are out running errands) a quick “check out this website, it’s been a favorite of mine to answer questions I have had”
3. Recommend your favorite book on the topic. A few of my favorites in our journey have been “The Connected Child” by Karen Purvis, and “Another Place at the Table” by Kathy Harrison. “A Child Called ‘It’“ by Dave Pelzer is a harrowing tale of a young man who grew up first in an abusive home and then foster care. It’s a hard read but offers a unique perspective from a child of abuse. 
4. Handouts. Hear me out. You don’t want your child’s information “out there” but you’d like him to not be ostracized because he has a hard time in class. A simple, bulleted handout for teachers and coaches can help explain your child’s history in a short, easy to digest way. They don’t need all the details, just enough to keep your kid safe. Explain what adoption is, what adoption positive language is, and how it all affects your kid and his relationship to the world around him. This is not an easy solution but it can save you some time and heartache in the long run, especially if your child is younger and can’t explain for himself. You could also print out a broad definition explanation of what adoption is and isn’t to hand out to curious friends/people. 
5. Adoption agency informational meetings. These are the best because people can ask whatever questions they have, and for most agencies, they count towards your adoption/foster parent training. Many agencies hold this type of meeting once or twice a month but some will be more sporadic. The people at the agency are typically very well informed and can be the best for explaining the intricacies of what it takes to be an adoptive family. Just going to one doesn’t obligate you to anything and they are typically completely free.

For us, typically the education of others has come by all of these ways; however, the best education for others has come most by authentically and openly living our lives with the people around us. Questions pop up and where and when appropriate we answer with honesty. That is not always the case and people are not always worth the time it takes to explain, but for us, it has been worth it. Good luck on your journey.

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The idea spread around the United States until 1983 when Ronald Reagan proclaimed the week of November 19, 1984, as the first official National Adoption Week. An excerpt of the proclamation explains,

“More children with permanent homes mean fewer children with permanent problems. That is why we must encourage a national effort to promote the adoption of children, and particularly children with special needs. Through the Adoption Assistance and Child Welfare Act of 1980, some 6,000 children have been adopted who otherwise might not have been, and the number is growing. The recently enacted Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act will provide further assistance to couples who adopt children with special needs.”

In this context, children with special needs can mean a sibling group or a child older than the age of 2 in need of an adoptive home.

November was chosen as the time to call attention to the fact that children in foster care needed families to love. It was announced to be held right before the holidays, the week before Thanksgiving when so many children are longing for somewhere to call home. The idea of children spending Thanksgiving and Christmas alone tugged heartstrings and the idea of celebrating adoption through foster care continued to spread.

In 1995 President Clinton made November National Adoption Month to expand awareness about adoption from foster care.

Since then, with the help of organizations such as The Alliance for Children’s Rights, Children’s Action Network, the Freddie Mac Foundation, and the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, National Adoption Day has been promoted as a special day to celebrate adoption from foster care. So far, this special recognition of adoption has resulted in over 40,000 children being adopted.

Around the United States, courthouses everywhere hold special court to adopt children en mass. It is a party with balloons, dinner, stuffed animals, newspaper coverage, family pictures being taken together for the first time. It is a thing of beauty and a cause for celebration. A child finally has a home.

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Over the years I have spoken with and worked with many individuals who have decided to search for their birth families. As an adoptee myself, I have mentally battled with whether or not I want to complete my own search. When making these decisions there are so many emotions that run through you: excitement, curiosity, trepidation, and fear of the unknown. Many adoptees have fantasized or dreamed about what their birth family is like or what their reunion will be like. There are shows on TV about it and there is always a happy ending. The reality is, not all searches end with a happy ending. Oftentimes they end in rejection. I know for me, one of the greatest fears/insecurities I have when considering searching for my birth family is being rejected. We all want to think that this is not an option but in reality, it is a very real option.

So, how does one deal with the fear of rejection? I don’t know that there is any magical way to do so. Each person is different so every person is going to cope differently. That being said, I think there are some ways to prepare to help make the sting of rejection less. I think it begins with preparing yourself ahead of time, prior to searching. I think it is starting out with a mindset that “okay, I am going to take this step and I have to be okay with no matter what happens.” It means mentally preparing yourself beforehand for the rejection that may come afterward. If you go into this with a realistic perspective, hopefully, it will help normalize feelings along the way. 

Secondly, you need to remember that it is not all about you. This was a decision that a birth parent made a long time ago (or had made for them). It may be something that they have not fully dealt with emotionally themselves. They may never have told anyone about their adoption decision. While birth families who do make the decision to not meet may feel like rejection to you, the adoptee, it is often just them protecting themselves. They may not be ready to deal with the emotions of reuniting or having to explain to their family about decisions that were made in the past. Remember, it is not a rejection of you, the adoptee, but a protection for them. Just as you have the right to try and search, the birth family has the right to say that they don’t want to be found our reunited. 

Finally, I think that it is important to have a support system around you as you go through this journey. It may be one or two people, it could be a village. You need people around you to talk with, shoulders to cry on, someone to yell at in frustration, and those that will hold your hand and remind you that decisions made are not about you personally. Don’t do this alone. I know that it is a personal journey but make sure that you have at least a handful of people who can be there to hold you up when your disappointment may be realized.

That being said, don’t let the fear of rejection keep you from searching if that is what you want. Mentally prepare before you start and be prepared for the worst. Remember that there are a lot of emotions involved for all sides and while you may be ready for this next step, your birth family may not be and that is about them, not you. Have a support system. Trust me, you will not regret it and it will be a lifeline as you handle all the emotions that come with searching, reunion, and (possibly) rejection.

The post How To Deal With Rejection In Your Adoption Search appeared first on Adoption Week Online Magazine | News, Articles, Awareness.

Adoptive parents have often experienced great stress for a prolonged period of time before bringing their child home. Despite undergoing pre-adoptive education and a home study, many adoptive parents are not told that PADS is a common phenomenon. While working through the stress of the adoption process, many pre-adoptive parents rely on the dream of their future child’s homecoming to get through. They can idealize the experience, particularly if they are first time parents, and often when the reality of parenting hits them, it is far different than the dreamy scene they pictured. This is especially true for parents adopting children with special needs, or children older than infants who may experience issues bonding.

And all of the other stressors of being a new parent are there too, just as they are for biological parents. Babies who won’t stop crying, operating on very little sleep, juggling your new responsibilities as a parent with work, and all the worry that accompanies caring for a child, especially if that child is a newborn or cannot communicate with you at all. Couples may find their relationship is strained, and social activities become very difficult. All of this can contribute to feeling disillusioned, frustrated, and ultimately, depressed.

Signs you might be experiencing PADS include:

– Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy
– A difficulty with concentrating or making decisions
– Fatigue or loss of energy
– Difficulty sleeping or increased need for sleep
– Significant weight change
– Excessive guilt
– Feelings of worthlessness
– Sense of hopelessness
– Irritability
– Suicidal thoughts or ideation 

Many parents also experience the other side of depression: anxiety. When we brought our daughter home, she was 2 days old. We had gotten the call that we were matched and that she was already born, just 48 hours before that. I distinctly remember not sleeping at all the first night, not because she wouldn’t sleep, but because I was terrified if I went to sleep something would happen to her, even though she was in a bassinet and within arm’s reach away from me. In her early infancy, my anxiety continued as I somehow became convinced there was a “right” way to be doing everything and would spend hours at night obsessively googling things about sleeping and feeding and making sure she had enough stimulation.

Many new biological parents experience this as well, but looming over my shoulder I also had the worry that I would somehow let her birth mother down, and also the worry that since she was not my biological child, I was somehow not fully equipped to care for her. If she cried and I had trouble soothing her I wondered, would I know what to do had I given birth to her? Most of me knew these thoughts were irrational, but when you’ve only slept for 4 hours, haven’t showered in two days, and haven’t had much interaction with the outside world for a while, it can be harder to shut those thoughts down. 

Another issue that can contribute to PADS is a pre-existing history of anxiety or depression. In my case, I have dealt with Generalized Anxiety Disorder my entire adult life, so it’s no surprise that in this highly stressful time of literally becoming a parent overnight, my levels of anxiety became unmanageable. Fortunately, I already had a good support system in place and was able to move past this extreme anxiety as she grew older. Now that she is two, I certainly worry, but I’m not up all night obsessively googling, and I am secure in my role as her mother.

Another contributing factor to developing PADS is unresolved grief about infertility or previous pregnancy losses. Many adoptive parents think they have moved past their infertility, but their grief is triggered again by bringing home a new child. Perhaps it’s an off-hand comment someone makes that implies you are “lesser” as a parent. Maybe it’s not being able to relate when the talk at Mommy and Me classes turns to epidurals and episiotomies. Maybe they have family or friends who are not supportive of their adoption. Any of these things can remind an adoptive parent that their child entered their family in a different way than most do, and can reignite infertility related grief.

Like with postpartum depression, PADS or post-adoption related anxiety is not only normal, it is treatable. How can someone experiencing PADS get help?

Take care of yourself. Self-care is incredibly important during this time. Find some downtime to engage in activities you enjoy. Make sure to eat right, exercise, rest, and get enough sleep. Time away from your child is important too, even if it’s just an hour to go shopping or get a cup of coffee. You need time to decompress.

Remember you are not alone. Connect with other adoptive parents who are experiencing similar feelings and challenges. Join an adoption support group, either in person or online. There you will find many other people who have been in your shoes and who can help show you that there is hope of making it to the other side of this challenge.

Give yourself time to bond with your child. Bonding and attachment can be a slow process, so be patient. Newborns don’t really give much back in the way of affection, and older children may have a language barrier, be dealing with physical illnesses, or just take time to warm up. You and your child have been through a lot in coming to find each other. Don’t expect bonding to be instant.

Ask for support and seek help. Do not be ashamed or afraid to ask friends and family members for help. Though they may not understand what you are going through, those closest to you are best equipped to help you begin to sort things out.  For your benefit and the benefit of your child and family, seek professional assistance if needed. Find a healthcare provider who is familiar with the challenges adoptive parents face and if necessary, consider taking medication.

Keep in mind that the first several months after you adopt, there is a transitional time for everyone in the family. Your whole life has changed, and so has your child’s. Take everything one day at a time, enjoy the positive moments, and be kind to yourself in the less than stellar moments: everyone has them.

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The big day arrives, all the preparations have been made, you’ve stocked up on diapers, formula, baby clothes, new blankets, you may have had a baby shower with friends and family. You are ready to be a parent, you’ve never been more sure of anything in your life as you are about this moment: the moment you get to meet your new child.

There is no love greater than the love of a parent for their child, natural born or adopted, there is no love greater. The immediate parental bonding happens naturally, the butterflies and nerves are on full alert all of the time, and every emotion possible is running on overload. Every emotion surges through your body all at once; it’s an experience unlike any you’ve ever encountered, and one I promise you’ll never forget. And then the realization hits. You are now officially parents; you are responsible for an innocent, beautiful, perfect, precious child; that’s the moment panic hits.

I remember our drive home with our brand new baby girl. My face hurt so much from smiling, my eyes hurt so much from crying, my heart was overjoyed with love, and my husband said to me from the front seat, “Now what?”

Neither of us had been a parent before, my daughter was our first child, and although we’d each been around children our entire lives, neither one of us knew what it meant to be a parent. I honestly didn’t know how to respond to his question; it was a valid question. We’d prepared as much as we could for her arrival but emotionally we had no idea of what to do next.

I’d read the books, I’d talked to friends and family about her anticipated arrival, I knew she’d need diapers changed, need to be fed and held and loved, but what else would I need to know? Luckily it just kind of happened, and when I didn’t know I asked my own mother or mother-in-law. 

The first week she was home I remember being so completely exhausted I could hardly stand. I wasn’t used to her schedule, her little noises, the constant worry, what if I did something wrong? Pure exhaustion was an understatement of our first week, but it was an amazing bliss. We had a dog so we knew it would be essential that the dog knew our daughter was going to be there to stay. We introduced the two and after our sweet dog made her way around our baby and sniffed every inch of her, she sat down next to her and never left her side. She knew instinctively that our daughter was now her responsibly too and they were instantly best friends. 

We watched every little move she made, held her closely as much as we could, fawned over every sound she made, giggled at every little face she made, we basked in the joy of being new parents. We each took turns holding her, changing her, feeding her, kissing on her, and just watching her in awe. Our first week as parents brought more joy to my life than I ever knew life could give. She was the most amazing gift I’d ever received, she still is. She instantly became my center, my world, my universe. I adapted to her every need, her eating/sleeping/diaper/etc. schedules willingly and eventually her routine became my own. There wasn’t (still isn’t) anything I wouldn’t have done for her from the moment I met her; she was my daughter the instant we got that call and instantly I loved her with my whole heart and soul.

Everyone we knew wanted to rush over and meet her: family, friends, neighbors, but we had established boundaries. Our first week home was going to be our first week together without interruptions. I asked both sets of parents, who were begging to come out to meet her, to wait until she was home for a couple of weeks before they flew out to visit, everyone else was on standby, too. We wanted that first week to bond and it was amazing.

Although exhausting and overwhelming that first week, there wasn’t a thing I would have changed about it. My precious baby girl, she is my entire world and I fall more deeply in love with her every single moment. I’m proud to be her mother and I’m honored to call her mine.

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The Birth Mother Has a Change of Heart.

This is one everybody fears, and it’s a hard one to be sure. It can be emotionally complicated. I believe that adoption is a wonderful thing. I also believe that any time a child can (safely) remain with their birth mother, that too, is a wonderful thing. When we were matched with a young mom expecting a baby girl in the coming month, we were elated. We had chosen a name with input from the birth mom. We had a bed and a car seat. We were ready. Then the call came. She was choosing to parent her baby girl. Our baby girl. It was what we refer to as our first miscarriage, and it was heartbreaking, but I was also truly happy that this mom and her baby girl who would not have to suffer the loss of each other. There were days, weeks, to follow of mixed emotions and tears. Not only do people change their minds but courts can change their rulings as well. Whatever your adoption path, it’s a good idea to consider all possible outcomes.

Unexpected Birth Mother Expenses.

It’s best to talk this over before you are matched with a mom and decide what you can or cannot possibly afford regarding these costs. Our second adoption included birth mom expenses upward of four thousand dollars, but we had time to prepare for this both financially and mentally. Given our knowledge of the extenuating circumstances leading to this request and that siblings of our child would benefit from the assistance, we accepted these costs. Again, having these conversations early in the process may save you from making an impulsive but financially irresponsible decision in the future. Incorporating potential costs into your fundraising/savings plan may allow you to offer valuable support to your child’s first family.

Gender, Age, and Medical Uncertainties

We all know babies can fool even the most advanced ultrasounds and gender surprises do happen. It might be shocking but usually the worst-case scenario, we may have to exchange a basket of blue onesies for pink, or vice versa. Most medical challenges are addressed early on. Your adoption agency will likely have you work through a list of medical issues that you can or cannot accept in your placement agreement. This may rule out some of the biggies, but other medical conditions may not be evident until the birth. My advice is the same: talk it through, talk it through, talk it through! 

These aren’t the only things that can catch us off guard. Our third adoption was a little girl from Haiti. She was two years old and would sandwich just perfectly between our one and three-year-old sons. Or so we thought. We were well into the lengthy international process when accurate medical records surfaced, and we found out she was actually six weeks older than our currently oldest child. Poor records, poor communication, and stunted growth due to malnourishment had us all fooled. This wasn’t a deal-breaker, by any means, but it was quite a surprise.

Sur-prize, Sur-prize, Sur-prize!

Lastly, let’s talk about the kind of surprise that’s most rare.

Lots of us know someone who has an “oops baby.” (Horrible terminology but you understand the sentiment.) Well, there are a rare few of us who’ve experienced an “oops” or unplanned adoption, as oxymoronic as that may sound. Just fifteen short months after our youngest daughter was placed with us, we received a call from the adoption agency. I’ll never forget the sound of our social worker’s voice saying, “Mrs. Sexton, I hope you’re sitting down.” Turns out our baby girl, our grand finale, wasn’t so final after all. She had a baby brother -full, biological sibling. She said we could think and pray about it, but it was really a no-brainer. As soon as she said the word “brother,” we knew he belonged with us.

These are just a few examples. Some adoption surprises are small, little blips in a very large picture. Others are huge and life-altering, but this is true of all life’s experiences. The lesson is the same. Forethought, awareness and consideration of all the possibilities, and mental and practical preparation are the tools that will help guide you through these unexpected moments.

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1. Adoptive families have a different perspective on how families are formed. Many adoptive families have fought very hard to be a family. They have been scrutinized from every aspect, filled out stacks of paperwork, and sometimes waited years for their children to come home. Because of the intense struggle, most adoptive parents have a great appreciation of the gift of parenthood.

2. Adoptive families realize that blood is not the only thing that makes a family. Love makes the family. When they look at their children, they only see their children, not an adopted child. The adopted child is their “real child.” There is a line in an anonymous adoption poem that says “you didn’t grow under my heart but in it.” Adopted families don’t need genetics to make them a family.

3. Every adopted child has “their” special day. It is a day unique to them. It is like a family holiday just for that child. Our family calls it Gotcha Day. My friend’s family calls it Adoption Day. Still another family I know calls it Family Day. So what is this special day? It is the day the adopted child came to their forever home.   

Our family chooses to look at Gotcha day as the day that our son got a family he needed, and we got a child we longed for. We “got” each other. We became a forever family. On this day, our family recounts the joyful day that we met our son. I would be remiss if I did not mention that not every child has the joyful homecoming stories that our boys do. While we may shield the hard parts of their early days until they are older, our boys came to us as infants and their stories are not as heartbreaking as some. Some children hate their Gotcha Days because it brings up feelings of loss and painful memories. However an adopted child joins their family, they each have a special day that says “welcome to forever.” Families call it different things and observe it different ways, but it can be a beautiful reminder of how special the child is and how thankful the family is that particular child is with their forever family.

4. When a family adopts a child whose nationality or ethnicity is different than their own the adoptive family will often retain parts of the child’s ethnic heritage and incorporate it into family life. Making sure that the adopted child is familiar with aspects of their native culture is very important to the child understanding who they are and where they came from. Building relationships with other families who share the child’s heritage or cooking meals from their first culture are great ways to connect the child to their ethnic-heritage. Sometimes books, toys, and artwork can be found to reflect the child’s heritage. 

5. Sometimes adoptees retain various forms of communication with their biological families. Adoptions can be open, closed, or semi-open in communication. Communications can be as basic as an annual update letter to as complex as interpersonal relationships, depending on the family and situation of the biological family. Having this extended family can add a unique dynamic to the adoptive family.

6. If you hang around a family who has adopted, you may hear them use terms that may be very unfamiliar to you. It’s true, we do have our own lingo and acronyms. While there are too many to list in this article, here are a few that you may hear.

• Home Study – process required before a child can be placed with a family for foster care or adoption. It includes references, medical reports, finance statements, background checks, social worker visits to home, and a variety of required training. Upon completion of the aforementioned, a document is drafted stating approval for adoption.
• Final Order of Adoption – the court has signed the final ruling that the child is legally and forever your child
• Semi-Open Adoption – a non-identifying interaction between the child’s biological family and the adoptive family, usually through a mediator such as the adoption agency/attorney.
• Open Adoption –identifying information is shared between the biological parents and the adoptive parents and an amount of contact following placement is agreed upon by both parties.
• Closed Adoption –there is no contact between the biological family and the adoptive family.
• Match – when a potential birth family and a potential adoptive family are found to have suitable qualities and agree to pursue placement.
• Profile Book – a mini biographical photo album of an adoptive family’s likes, interests, family, and friends that is designed to introduce them to potential parents seeking to place their child for adoption. There are also online profiles.
• Placement – when the adoptive child comes to live in the adoptive family’s home.

Adoption culture is pretty amazing. Just like any culture, it can be as varied as the people in it. Each family has its own special dynamic, experience, and traditions. If you are curious about adoption culture, don’t be afraid to ask because another cool thing about adoption culture is that most adoptive families love to talk about adoption.

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1. Faith Hill

Faith is a well-known country music singer who married fellow musician Tim McGraw. She was born in Ridgeland, Mississippi, and was adopted as an infant into a home with two brothers. She became a household name in 1993 with the release of her debut album.

2. Jesse Jackson

The former preacher and presidential candidate, Jesse Jackson was adopted as a child by his stepfather. His mother was 16 years old and in high school when she gave birth. She married Charles Henry Jackson a year after Jesse was born. Charles later adopted Jesse, giving him his surname.

3. Jordan Fisher

Achieving fame as both an actor and singer, Jordan Fisher is also an adopted child. He was born to a 16-year-old girl with substance abuse problems. Jordan was adopted by his parents along with his two younger siblings. He has starred in recurring episodes of Liv and Maddie and was part of the cast of Teen Beach Movie among other roles.

4. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman

These two were well-known celebrities before they married each other. Even though the marriage didn’t last, the couple adopted two children during this time. They adopted a daughter named Isabella Jane who was born in 1992 and a son named Connor Anthony who was born in 1995.

5. Kristin Davis

Kristin was a single woman when she adopted her daughter, Gemma Rose, in 2011. According to Kristin, this was something she had wanted to do for a long time.

6. Denise Richards

Denise Richards is an actress who was known for marrying Charlie Sheen. They had two biological children together before divorcing. Richards then adopted a third child on her own in 2011. She added daughter Eloise Joni to the family after a two-year process for international adoption.

7. Angelina Jolie

Angelina is well-known for her international adoptions and efforts for children in other countries. She first adopted a child in 2002, a son from Cambodia. After getting involved with actor Brad Pitt, he also adopted the boy. They adopted a daughter from Ethiopia in 2005 and a son from Vietnam in 2007.

8. Katherine Heigl

Heigl is another famous actress who has turned to adoption to expand her family. She and her husband, Josh Kelley, adopted a little girl from South Korea. This country is the same place where Katherine’s adopted sister was born. The couple also adopted a second daughter from the U.S.

These names are just a few of the hundreds of famous people who have been touched by adoption either as an adoptee or as an adoptive parent. Many others were birth parents who made the difficult choice to give their children better lives through adoption.

What other famous people in adoption have we missed? Let us know in the comments!

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